Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag