piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You took a bar mat shot.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants