we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.