Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.