he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?