Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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