Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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