is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
