Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize
