You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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