Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
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we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
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I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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