So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
