I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
