Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
