I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
why do cheetos always look like penises
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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