Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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