I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
