Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I wear drunk well.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
