I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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