I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize