I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
