i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
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she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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