Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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