I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
