you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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