I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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