I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I believe in your delicious
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
