Apparently you make a good broom.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
