That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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