i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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