What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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