Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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