:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
