Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
