What did we do last night that was yellow?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
