When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
