two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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