I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
