the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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