ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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