are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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