just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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