buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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