How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
