so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
