dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
