That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
