I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
