he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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