Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
