I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
