I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
