Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
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Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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