If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
