They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize