Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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