R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
