My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
