Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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