She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
