I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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