the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I wish there were birth control emojis
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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