all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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