masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's blow job season.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
