It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
