you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize