At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize